So I know that God lets us experience times of blessing and times of brokenness. But come on. The blessings are over already? It was too short... Not saying I'm not blessed. But the brokenness is back. And I wasn't ready for it to come back yet.
Today I'm feeling kind of hopeless and I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to do. I am at a loss. And it's times like these when I just have to focus every moment on God and realize that He has a plan. He knows what is going to come of this and all I have to do is wait for His master plan to fan out. Yes, it sucks at the moment. But I know that things will be okay in the end.
I heard once that God puts people in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. At first I refused to believe it. But it's so true! Sometimes people are in your life just so they can teach you something. You learn your lesson from that person and then they are taken away from you. And it's hard at first, but you move on. And sometimes people are in your life during a certain season when you really need that person. Then similarly, when that season is over, they are taken from you. And then there are those friends that are there forever. And they are a blessing. I have a lot of friends and I don't know which categories they all fall under. I would pray that they are all lifetime friends, but that probably isn't the case. It hurts me so much when someone turns away from me, but if they have done their job in my life then maybe it's time for them to move on to someone else and teach that person something. Or maybe it's time for them to go find someone else to learn something from. All I know is that for the friends who are choosing to stay in my life, I should count them as such a blessing and love them and go on living life and keep pouring myself into them and hoping for the same in return.
I know that things don't always happen as they expect them to. Actually, they almost never do. Life is just constant surprise after another. But I know that in certain situations it doesn't matter who did what or who said what. Because no matter how things turn out, God had planned it to be that way anyway. So why waste time blaming people in the mean time? I have done stupid things and made mistakes. And for that I am sorry. I can't turn back and change it so all I can be is sorry. And people I know have made mistakes as well. But by dwelling on that mistake, you don't allow room for forgiveness. Maybe that friendship is supposed to be over. But maybe it's not. And maybe time is being wasted being mad when time could be used to forgive and patch things up.
All I can do is trust in Jesus. Because He knows. I don't know. But He does. And He will make everything okay.