Biggest loser.

That's it. I can't take it anymore.
I'm getting skinny.
For real.
Nothing is getting in the way this time.

Parent: n. One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.

So in my Human Development class we learn alot about how the way your parents treat you in the early stages of life have a lot to do with how you turn out. And it scared me a little. I was thinking, what happens to those poor kids whose parents weren't ready to have children and didn't do it right? And now the kids are all messed up and it's not even their fault! And I am taking this class and learning so many valuable things about how to raise children but I'm thinking, most people do not get to take a human development class, so how do they get the information?

And then I started to realize... Sheesh. I sure am lucky. My parents sure knew what they were doing. Well, maybe they weren't sure of what they were doing at first but it just turned out to be right. I mean, I look around me and I see so many troubled people with so many messed up situations, and people doing horrible things and making stupid decisions. And I thought, if my parents hadn't raised me the way they did and provided such good examples to follow and enabled me to have such a strong moral foundation, I could be such a different person by now. But they did such a good job raising me that they shouldn't ever have to worry about stupid decisions I will make because I am grounded and I know what is right and wrong and the values that they have passed on to me are stuck in my mind forever.

I am just so thankful to have grown up in such a strong and secure family and that I can look back and be proud of the person I have become and the things I have accomplished.

Thank God for my parents.

Autumn. Retreat. Get smart.

So there is a time of year that gets me all excited. It is fall. I just love fall. I can't describe it. The yellow and brown colored leaves, the crisp air, the dark nights, the smell of pumpkin and spice... Ooh. It makes excited just thinking about it. I love fall so so much. And I am excited that it is finally that time. =]



Well. I made it safely back from Vanguard Singers Retreat. Although, I almost didn't... Well not really. But I was scared for my life when I climbed the rock wall.



See, I am afraid of heights and I have pretty much zero upper body strength. So it took alot out of me to climb that wall and I was scared out of my mind. But I made it to the top... Barely. When I got to the top, I actually got stuck and someone had to pull me up... Hahaha. But I did make it and then I zip lined down. THAT was fun. But overall it was a great trip. I got closer to some great friends. I think one of my favorite parts was the drive there and back! Driving through the twists and turns of the mountain playing silly games like the rope game and in the land of the deep but not profound. And the jelly belly game. Good times.



And, I was elected Secretary, which I was totally not expecting at all. I was so surprised! It was great. And we learned a lot of music and got to sing with mics and I tried a few solos and it was kind of scary at first but really fun! And the food was really interesting...



And randomly as we were leaving, I saw a car with an Apple Valley High School sticker, which is my high school, and an HDC sticker, which is my church. It was very exciting. And strange. I never met that person...



Overall though. It was a great, awesome, and fun trip.

...Well tonight, Brooke, Kevin, Sean, Savana, and I went to the movies to see Get Smart. Now, I have already seen this movie and so has Brooke but the others hadn't. And it was totally worth two dollars to see it a second time. It is pretty much the greatest movie ever and I laughed my head off even the second time. ...Oh Steve Carrell, how I love you. I had so much fun. I love friends so much!!! And during the previews we saw this ridiculous commercial about the National Guard with Kid Rock. And then there was a huge cardboard cutout of the commercial. So we took a picture with it...of course.



...What a great day.
And now I have a paper to write.
Goodnight world.

Soap on my face and Conditioner in my hair.

So here I am, taking a shower. I shampoo my hair and then rinse. Then I rub in the conditioner and then rub some soap on my face and just as I was about to rinse... Drip Drip Drip... The water turns off. NOOOOOOOO! Seriously? What was I supposed to do? So Brooke and I gathered as many water bottles as we could find.



And I poured them in my hair and my face. ...It was a very interesting experience to say the least. I'm still not sure if I got all the stuff out of my hair.

After I went to my classes, I was surprised to come home and find SATELLITE TV!!! Yayyy! Not to mention, we have t-vo. Woot.



This was quite exciting considering the thirteen channels of static we had last year. But I haven't even had time to watch it yet because I went straight from school to work to Godspell. I only saw the second half of Godspell since I had to work until nine. However, the second half was awesome! And I definitely cried. It was really powerful.
On another note, I am so excited because Vanguards Retreat is tomorrow!!!! YAYYYYY.

So it may be a few days before another update.

P.S. I give up on crushes.

School.

School...is awesome. I love it so much. First of all, everyday I am just speechless at how I am blessed with so many great friends. And then there is the learning part! When I was younger I was really smart. And as I grew up, I got less smart. Or less motiviated... or something. And then college came. And I was a music major. And it was pretty much the hardest thing of life. It seemed like everyone was always better than me and I was fighting just to be average. Now, don't get me wrong. That is totally NOT why I changed my major. I love a challenge. So that is so not the reason. But being a Psych major is so refreshing. See, in music, I would practice and practice and still not do very well. But in Psych, I study really hard, and it pays off. ...I had a test today. In Bio Psych. And I studied really hard. And I think I did well. My work actually paid off. And then in Stats, I didn't even know that there was a quiz. So I obviously didn't study. But I still got a ninety. I am actually retaining information... And I know a lot of big psychology words. Haha. I LOVE LEARNING!
I feel smart again. And I like it. =]

My goal this semester: Straight a's!

Office Party.

So Brooke went home this weekend. I survived and actually met some really cool people and discovered the glory of Newport church, this awesome cute little church right off the beach on the water. It was awesome. As well as Yougurtland... Mmmm... Well anyway, when Brooke got back to Vanguard she revealed to me that while she was at home, she picked up a little something....




Ta feakin Da!

THE OFFICE SEASON FOUR!!!! YESSSSS.....

So I am taking this opportunity to invite you readers to our weekly Office Parties we will be having every week... Well, if you live at or close to Vanguard anyway.

I'm so excited. Hours of laughter on a tiny disk...

Up in the gym just workin on my fitness. He's my witness. Woo.

Oh what a great day I am having today. Perhaps because I have nothing to attend to so I can relax. Or perhaps I am high on endorfins. Either way, I'm feelin good.


Just got back from the gym. At work today, this lady came in to drop off her kid and she was seriously ripped. Muscles everywhere. Now I personally think that's gross when it's that much. However, she had some inspiring words to offer. She said not to put myself in a box. And if I put my mind to it and really want to lose weight, I can. So I got all inspired. Meanwhile, her son and I created this sweet ship out of legos. I learn so much about myself through the way I interact with kids. I am secretly really controlling. Or maybe it's not a secret. But I wanted to make my own ship and make it awesome. But Dante (that's the little boy's name) wanted to do it his way. And I had to tell myself that HE is here to play, and not me. Hahaha. But the ship turned out pretty sweet anyways.





So after work I grabbed a bite to eat. At Vanguard this year they have this new thing where, instead of having 160 meals per semester, they split it into weeks. So I have ten meals a week. And it DOES NOT roll over. Which is so stupid. So I go in the caf to get breakfast and she says "you have run out of meals for this week." And I'm like Are you kidding??? And so she went on to tell me that I can use my "Flex Dollars" for a meal. How many Flex Dollars does it cost to eat in the caf? EIGHT STINKIN DOLLARS! And all I got was some granola and a sandwhich. FOR EIGHT DOLLARS... Seriously. This new food provider... I dunno about them.

So anyway, after I ate, I came right back to the gym to work out. And let me tell you. I was so motivated today. I did an hour and a half of cardio.




Here's how many calories I burned from just thirty minutes. So multiply that by three, plus I did weights for half an hour and swam for half an hour! I was just totally motivated. And I hope it stays that way. Plus I brought Eclipse and got some valuable reading time in. Woot. And it's getting so good. And working out is so much easier when you have a good book with you.

Well I was feeling great and I decided to go swimming so I hopped into the pool. Keep in mind I am not by any means a good swimmer. I am possibly the slowest swimmer one has ever seen. But I do quite enjoy it and it's a great work out. So here I am, nonchalantly gliding across the pool in my lane and two guys show up, taking the remaining two lanes. I look over and they're both speeding past me. So I try to go as fast as I could. But it was no use. By the time they had reached the end of the pool and back, I had only gone half way to the first side of the pool. And I'm like are you kidding? It was like Michael Phelps status. One guy even did the flip thingy as he reached the end. And here I am wildly and sporatically kicking my feet and wailing my arms just to get to one side, at which I have to stop and catch my breath. I wish I was a better swimmer. I really do. It was still good though and when I got out of the pool, I could barely walk.
So I had a great workout today. I hope this continues. Although, I can barely move right now so I can only imagine what I will feel like tomorrow. Even just lifting my hands to type is almost more than I can stand.

And may I just say. It took over an hour to type this. Because my computer froze literally every five seconds. Oh how I wish I were exaggerating.

I can't wait until I can afford a MacBook.

Pandas. Rolling Backpacks. Little Miss Sunshine.

So today as I was walking to class, (I was late again by the way) I saw a person with a rolling backpack.



And I thought to myself, ...Hmmm... I didn't even know that people still used those. And then I thought back to when I was little and I wanted one so badly. And sadly I never got one... Well I was surprised to see someone who has one nowadays. Not saying it's a bad thing. I was just surprised.

And currently I am spending my leisurely time in Kevin's room with him and Jared. Tina was here too but she left. We watched Little Miss Sunshine. Which is an awesomely awesome movie. And then... I stumbled across one of Kevin's many random contraptions. The panda. Now this panda is not just an ordinary stuffed panda. It moves. And when Kevin pressed that button, he came alive. Well actually he barely moved because the carpet made it difficult for the panda's paws to manoeuver across the floor. Even still, I very much enjoyed this panda. I captured him in the action:


In conclusion. I love friends. And movies. And moving stuffed pandas.

Randomness.

Hello world. I am back. I didn't blog for a whole day. Woah. Yesterday and today were super busy.

So let's talk about how yesterday I woke up at 8:40. Yes. I have an 8 oclock class. And yes. I had a test. So I got up and ran to class. Lookin like I just woke up. Got there at 8:45. Class ends at 8:50. Had 5 minutes to do the test. I whipped it out like nobody's business.

Social Psych. Choir. Target. Got an outfit and some essentials. Got home at 3:50. Class at 4. Realized my work uniform was still wet. Hung it out to dry.



Ghetto. I know.

Went to work. Survived the crazy kids. Went to worship night. Yay Jesus.

TODAY. Vanguards. I can't describe it. I seriously am so uplifted everytime I go to that class. Amazing people. Amazing songs. Amazing fellowship. Gah! Amazing. Then class. And then after class Brooke, Jessica, and I decided how great it is to sit out on the grass. So relaxing. So nice to see friendly faces passing by. And then we saw Bri! With chips in her mouth. Doing her hair.



And then we went to class. And then I went to work. And now... Office/Taco Bell party with the amigos. Yessss....

I blog too much.

Seriously I blog like twice a day. Haha. Well today was long and eventful.
Let's see... VSB rehearsal: OMG So fun! And a little intimidating. But I was surprised by my own outgoingness... =]



(This is Mia and I in VSB rehearsal. I'm really excited. Why do we both look so strange in this pic?)

And then a quick bite to eat. And I mean bite. I took like one bite and then had to leave. I literally have 5 minutes between VSB and my next class.
Well at 4:15 after all my classes were done, Brooke and I headed to Huntington Beach to get my haircut. I had a fabulous talk with my hair dresser, Alli, who is the best. And then we headed off to Mia's apartment where I did laundry and we had a nice little dinner and watched Mona Lisa Smile... So good. I loved that movie. And the dryer broke, and my clothes are still wet to this very minute.

Then....

We headed back to Vanguard and went to the painting party on our floor. Sooooo I love to paint. I'm not what you would call a Picasso. However, I enjoy it alot.

Here is what I created. It's the tree of peace... or something. ...Our theme is peace train. I kinda like my little creation. =]



And here are some girls on my floor painting the big mural... I helped a little, but I took a time out to capture the beauty of it.



Oh how I love art. That's my new hobby. Brooke and I decided we're going to have paint night once a month... Woot.


OH but then at 10:30 I realized that I need to start my paper, which was due by midnight. Whew. It was a close one. I got it finished and submitted by about 11:45. I am the queen of procrastinating. And that's another goal for this year. I have to stop that.
And I will...tomorrow.

VSB TODAY! And my concert schedule for those of you who would like to come:

So today is the first day of Vanguard Singers and Band (VSB) rehearsal. 30 minutes and counting down... Sooooo excited!

So for those of you who would like to come to my concerts this semester, here is my schedule:

Concert Choir:
-Saturday September 27 at 10:30am in Costa Mesa, Ca
-Saturday November 1 TBD at Biola University...it's a festival. I dunno if people can watch...
-Sunday November 16 at 8:30 and 10:15am in Newport Beach, Ca

Vanguard Singers and Band:
-Sunday October 26 at 6pm in Reedley, Ca
-Wednesday October 29 at 10am at Vanguard University
-Sunday November 2 at 6pm in Whittier, Ca
-Sunday November 23 at 8:45 and 10:15 am in Irvine, Ca
-Sunday November 23 at 6pm in Riverside, Ca
-Saturday December 6 at 11:30 am in Newport Beach, Ca
-Monday December 8 at 6:30pm...Location???
-Saturday December 13 at 8:30pm in Indian Wells, Ca

Beautyshop:
-Sunday December 7 at 2:00pm in Costa Mesa, Ca
Beautyshop will also be performing at Vanguard Singers concerts... and the rest is TBD

CHRISTMAS FANTASIA (All groups will be performing)
-Tuesday December 2 at 7:30pm in Costa Mesa, Ca AT OCPAC!!!!!!
-Wednesday December 3 at 10am at Vanguard University
-Friday December 5 at 8pm in Newport, Ca

Poor.

This is how much gas I got today...
Because this is how much I could afford.
Oh dear. That is sad.
And it was quite embarassing to say "$1.50 on 9"



But payday is tomorrow.
Praise Jesus.

Sourpatch. Starbucks. Just friends. Sadness. Happiness.

So first off, I'd like to point out the fact that Sour Patch Watermelon candy and Starbucks mochas are the best. Seriously. Best thing ever in life...

How the sweet and sour mix together to provide such satisfaction. And the creamy blend of coffee and milk that makes your tastebuds go yummmm.

I am currently experiencing these sensations and I am content. Ah.

Secondly. I have come to the sad conclusion that I think guys look at me as just a friend. Now I suppose I may be wrong and maybe I'm just oblivious. But I see the way guys treat certain girls and then I see the way they treat me and it seems just a liiiitle different. And I'm not really sure what to do about that. I mean, I am me. And I will always be me. So how do I get a guy to like me for me. And not just want to be my friend? Hmmm. That is the eternal quest for us plain girls I guess. The beautiful girls have it easy...


And thirdly. I am sad. Not for myself. But for someone else. I don't think it's fair for someone so amazing to have to go through such a hard time. And it hurts me to see this person cry all the time. I wish she would cheer up but I know what it's like. And I know it takes a lot of time. It reminds me of me this past summer. And I hope she doesn't hurt as badly as I did. And I hope she heals quickly. And I hope she leans wholly on God and that He will mend her heart soon.

On a lighter note... It still feels surreal. It's like I'm living someone else's life. Someone who is accomplished and worthy. I can't stop smiling. And I hope people don't confuse it for conceitedness. I'm just happy. Really, really, really happy.

Whaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttt.

So...today. Coming home from the gym. Mood:nonchalant. I get a phone call. Josh Robison... Hmm. Why is Josh calling me? I answer. He says The list is up. Oh..... Um what does it say? You made it!!!!!!

....
....
....
....

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!




I go to check it.




So remember in my other blog when I said my name has never looked so beautiful in all twenty years of my life.


I lied.


NOW it hasn't ever looked so beautiful.


Woah. I made it. Vanguard Singers. My dream. It's surreal. Seriously.
But wait... There was another list...



Hold up. Rewind. WHATTTTTTT.
Vanguards AND Beautyshop. Oh...my...gosh... My life is changing in front of my eyes. For the better. God continues to bring things in my life that I can't explain. He is so good. And wonderful. And marvelous. And I thank Him for everything in my life. Because without Him, none of this would be possible.

And now I know why I didn't make it last year. My heart wasn't ready. I have learned so much this summer. I have grown so much stronger and I have a testimony to share. And now I will have a way of sharing it.


Ohhhhh man. I am so excited for all of these new opportunities!
Life....is good.

Nope... Life is AMAZING.

Flashback!

So a couple days ago, my roommate Brooke had her itunes on shuffle. And suddenly, I heard a song that made my heart do a little flutter. You know that feeling when you recognize a song, and you know you love it and it just gives you this feeling inside you can't explain. Someone once called it a "heart cry." Well I dunno if anyone else ever experiences that. But I sure do.

So I feel this heart cry. ...It's a good cry by the way... and I realize, it is dc Talk. And I remembered what an effect they had on me when I was younger. They were like my first Christian band, my first concert, my first favorite band... And so today I put Brooke's itunes on just dc Talk and just sat and listened and with each song came a memory. I was listening to "I Wish We'd All Been Ready" and it brought me back to when I was in middle school and I did a book report on the book Left Behind and we had to make a soundtrack to our book and I put that song on my soundtrack. Cuz, well, it's about being left behind. And I forgot for so many years just how great dc Talk is and how moving their lyrics are and how magical their melodies and harmonies are... Ooh dc Talk, how I love you.


Movie night tonight with the amigos...
...Still no word on Vanguards or Beautyshop.


...Patience...

Lesson learned: Patience.

Here I am. STILL awaiting my fate as they have yet to post the list for Vanguard Singers OR Beauty Shop.

Patience is a virtue.

Realization.

It's ok if we drift apart. I thought I wouldn't be ok without you. But I am. I have a new life now. And I am truly happy.

What...A...Day...

Today was the definition of eventful. So last night I was supposed to study for Bio Psych but I was waaaaaay too exhausted last night to even attempt to read. So I decided I'd wake up at 6am this morning and study before my 8 oclock class... Hahaha. Good one. I woke up at 7:45 and ran to class. And it was today, in Intro to Statistics that I realized something scary. ...I...love...math... Seriously. Who knew? My whole life I've been pretending to hate it when secretly it makes me so excited to computate numbers and figure out percentages and patterns... It's official. I'm a weirdo.

So after that class I was going to study because I had a two hour break.
But no.
Instead I went on facebook. Of course.
Then I had Social Psychology at eleven. I went. It was enjoyable, as is normal.
Then an hour for lunch. But I wasn't hungry so I took about twenty minutes to study for my Bio Psych test...quiz...thing.

Then I had choiiiirrrrr. I realized when I pay super close attention and I'm really attentive, choir is the most fun thing ever. So it was a good day.

Then. Meeting with my school pastor. We had a talk about alot of things going on in my life right now. And I have come to the realization that I am kind of smart. Haha. Not to sound conceited. But most of the things he told me were things that I had already thought of, or even executed. So I felt a little disappointed. But at the same time, kind of good. I know that I am doing the right thing... Maybe. Or at least I have the right idea about things.

So then I practiced for a few minutes with my friend Jamie for the Beautyshop audition that was to be held tonight at 8. Except I would have to be AN HOUR late because I had to work. So I practiced. Then ran to class. Took my quiz. Did great! Got a 90. Woot. Very unexpected. School is so good right now. I am learning and keeping attentive and enjoying every minute.

Off to work. I was hoping that all the kids wouild magically leave early so I could leave early so I wouldn't have to be SO late for the audition. Nope. Not a chance. So I run out of work. Speed to school. Arrive at 9:05. An hour late. Out of breath. They have me jump in. So much fun! I am loving this new found courage to audition for everything! I am gaining so many good experiences. I did ok. But everyone else did too. So, once again, not expecting anything. Afterall, only ONE spot is open for this one.

Tonight the list goes up. For Vanguard Singers. AND Beautyshop. I am trying not to be a wreck of nerves. But I am just hoping and praying so hard that this is in God's will. Because I want to be a part of the groups soooo bad! I'll even take just one. But I just don't know. Once again, it's in God's hands. The best place to be. =]

Remember when we had memories.

I saw a video of us yesterday. And it made me miss you. And it made me miss the good times we used to share. But I can't be with you anymore because you're not the person from that video anymore. You're a new person who I don't know. A person who hurts me. And that's why we can't be close anymore. Because it hurts to see how much you've changed.

Princess Brandi? ...Clearly not.

So here we are in line at Disneyland waiting with hudreds of other hopefuls to have our faces examined by strange people we don't know. This is known as the Disney Face Character Auditions. It was quite an interesting experience. I went in with no expectations and no hopes.

We stood in line for about two hours until finally we were brought into a room where we stood in a line and one by one the "judges" walked up to us and examined our faces, looking for the next Disney princess. It was fun... And awkward. But it was strange. There was nothing we could do to prepare. They either like your face or they don't. I can relate it to a beauty pageant. And of course the few girls who made it were super model status...Of course. But it was still fun and a good experience. I think I'll do it again one day. And I saw a kajillion people I knew there. Which was funny... and random.

So...Callbacks. Oh my gosh. So much fun. We all got music, looked over it a couple times and then had to perform it in small groups. I gave it my all and tried my best and I guess that's all I can do. We got to sing solos too and it was so much fun. I had a great time. I just hope they saw my heart. I want this so bad. But again, I'm not getting my hopes up. Everyone was amazing. And there aren't many, if any, spots to be filled. So I'll continue to wait. And hope. And pray. And pray that I will be strong if I don't see my name on that next list... Oh the art of auditioning...

Woah. What? ...Callbacks...

So I auditioned for Vanguard Singers and Band last week. It's like this hard core elite choir. I auditioned last year. Didn't even make call backs. I cried myself to sleep that night. It was horrible. So I prayed so hard that this year, if I didn't make it, that I would be strong. So I hear the call back list goes up tomorrow. So I call my RA and ask her to pray with me that I'll be strong if I don't make it. THEN my friend Danielle comes in. She said CALL BACK LIST IS UP. I thought great, just gimme the bad news. She said you made it. I said WHAT!? I couldn't believe it. So I went down to look myself. And I saw this.



And then I saw this.



My name. It's never looked so beautiful in all the twenty years I've been alive. And then I thought. Brandi. Don't get excited. It's only call backs. And there are no alto spots available. And all the returners are coming back. But then I thought Wait. Maybe I should celebrate. Cuz what if I don't make it? Then this would have been my only chance to celebrate and I missed out. So I dunno. I want to be excited. Cuz I mean, I didn't make call backs last year. So this is farther than I have come before. But I'm really good at getting my hopes up and then getting let down. And I don't want that. I hope my heart can be strong through disappointment. But even more, I hope it doesn't have to be disappointed. I want to be in Vanguards. I want to minister to people and inspire them and share my testimony. I want to share the love of Jesus with others.
Please pick me!!!

I can't hear you. I have sand in my ears.

Well I am annoyed. I just wrote this huge long blog and I accidentally deleted it somehow. So I am going to recap. Because honestly, I'm not about to retell that whole thing. So basically, I saw a spider in my room Saturday night, which caused for absolutely no sleeping. I stayed awake all night because I am deathly afraid of spiders and Iwasn't going to go to sleep until I knew it was dead. I didn't end up killing it until seven am. But I had to work at eight. So I went to work with ZERO hours of sleep. I accidentally fell asleep. Which is not ok because I was taking care of kids. But noone died or anything and I was only asleep for like a minute. Haha. Well after work, my dad and my sister and brother came to visit. So I couldn't take a nap. We went to Dana Point Beach... I think.



So here's the thing. I'm pretty much afraid to go in the water at the beach because I'm lame and I am always afraid a sea animal will eat me or something... lame... But yesterday I worked up the courage to go in. And I did! AND I boogie boarded and it was pretty much the most fun thing ever. And I kept getting caught under the waves and my bathing suit kept coming off... Hahaha. And then my sister, brother, dad and I had a riveting game of throw the frisbee in the waves and whoever gets it gets a point. Well we played to ten and I had nine. And Sarah had like five. I was totally about to win. And then my dad said whoever gets the next one wins. And Sarah randomly found it. And I was so bummed. Cuz I totally should have won. I'm secretly really competitive,.. It was still fun. And when we got back to the dorm we had pizza. And then they left. And I crashed. At 8 oclock! And I slept for TWELVE hours! Wow. It was nice. And then it was back to work again this morning... And now time to hang out with my best friends!

I seriously love my life. =]