So this year God is teaching me many things. But one thing that seems to be the most prevalent deals with my control issues. I don't think I always act upon it, but in my head I am a very controlling person. When we do group projects in school, I just want to do the whole thing because I can't trust others to do a good job. I know, it sounds horrible. But that's how I feel about life too. I just want to do everything my way because I feel like I can make it better than anyone else can. But I'm wrong! And I have to stop trying to control my life, and certain outcomes. Because God is in control.
Every situation that I have been dealing with lately has to do with things being out of my control. And I realize that God is teaching me through these tests.
There is a certain person in my life who is hurting so much right now. And I am trying to control it. I want so so badly for things to be better and I want to do what I can do manipulate the situation to make her feel better so that everything will be ok. But you know what. Maybe it's not up to me. God is in control of this situation. And no matter what I do, or what I have done, things will get better when God is ready to make them better. And He will. But it is all in His timing. Again, here I am waiting. Waiting waiting. That's all I do. And it's hard. It's hard to be patient. And it's hard to not be in control.
But God is teaching me.