Too much going on. Nothing to say.

I feel like so much is going on. But I don't have the patience to sit here and write about it anymore. =[ It's sad. But I'll try anyways.

Well... weird things are happening. But I can't dwell on them. Cuz then I'll just be sad.

Also, good things are happening. It's almost Thanksgiving. And I am so excited that I want to scream. I have only been home once this entire semester and I can't even wait to go home and get to stay there for four whole days! A four day vacation. No work, no school. BUT then as soon as I come back, I have Fantasia rehearsal Monday. Exam and Fantasia Tuesday. Exam and Fantasia Chapel Wednesday. Exam Thursday. Two exams and Fantasia Friday. Concert Saturday. Concert Sunday. Can you say WEEK OF DEATH? But after that, the semester is over!

Woah... Another semester down. Three more to go until I GRADUATE from college. WHAT?
That's so intense.

Well. Beautyshop rehearsal tonight. Then group project. Then write a paper. Bye for now!

Time to DeStress

So today, in order to relieve some stress and just get out of my room and think, I went to Barnes and Noble. Got a green tea. And I found a book that caught my attention. Call me gross but this would catch your attention too if you saw it.

And can I just say, this book totally made my day. I mean, you can be crying your eyes out, but at the end of the day, poop is always funny. And an entire book written about poop... Come on. That's hilarious. And you know what. I read the whole thing. And I felt so much better. I couldn't help but just laugh. And I needed a good laugh....

DeStresser #2. When I'm bummed out or going through a rough or changing time in my life, I dye my hair. So that's what I'm doin. Next time you see me I'll be a dark brunette!

Is it that time again?

So I know that God lets us experience times of blessing and times of brokenness. But come on. The blessings are over already? It was too short... Not saying I'm not blessed. But the brokenness is back. And I wasn't ready for it to come back yet.

Today I'm feeling kind of hopeless and I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to do. I am at a loss. And it's times like these when I just have to focus every moment on God and realize that He has a plan. He knows what is going to come of this and all I have to do is wait for His master plan to fan out. Yes, it sucks at the moment. But I know that things will be okay in the end.

I heard once that God puts people in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. At first I refused to believe it. But it's so true! Sometimes people are in your life just so they can teach you something. You learn your lesson from that person and then they are taken away from you. And it's hard at first, but you move on. And sometimes people are in your life during a certain season when you really need that person. Then similarly, when that season is over, they are taken from you. And then there are those friends that are there forever. And they are a blessing. I have a lot of friends and I don't know which categories they all fall under. I would pray that they are all lifetime friends, but that probably isn't the case. It hurts me so much when someone turns away from me, but if they have done their job in my life then maybe it's time for them to move on to someone else and teach that person something. Or maybe it's time for them to go find someone else to learn something from. All I know is that for the friends who are choosing to stay in my life, I should count them as such a blessing and love them and go on living life and keep pouring myself into them and hoping for the same in return.

I know that things don't always happen as they expect them to. Actually, they almost never do. Life is just constant surprise after another. But I know that in certain situations it doesn't matter who did what or who said what. Because no matter how things turn out, God had planned it to be that way anyway. So why waste time blaming people in the mean time? I have done stupid things and made mistakes. And for that I am sorry. I can't turn back and change it so all I can be is sorry. And people I know have made mistakes as well. But by dwelling on that mistake, you don't allow room for forgiveness. Maybe that friendship is supposed to be over. But maybe it's not. And maybe time is being wasted being mad when time could be used to forgive and patch things up.

All I can do is trust in Jesus. Because He knows. I don't know. But He does. And He will make everything okay.

Lesson.

So this year God is teaching me many things. But one thing that seems to be the most prevalent deals with my control issues. I don't think I always act upon it, but in my head I am a very controlling person. When we do group projects in school, I just want to do the whole thing because I can't trust others to do a good job. I know, it sounds horrible. But that's how I feel about life too. I just want to do everything my way because I feel like I can make it better than anyone else can. But I'm wrong! And I have to stop trying to control my life, and certain outcomes. Because God is in control.

Every situation that I have been dealing with lately has to do with things being out of my control. And I realize that God is teaching me through these tests.

There is a certain person in my life who is hurting so much right now. And I am trying to control it. I want so so badly for things to be better and I want to do what I can do manipulate the situation to make her feel better so that everything will be ok. But you know what. Maybe it's not up to me. God is in control of this situation. And no matter what I do, or what I have done, things will get better when God is ready to make them better. And He will. But it is all in His timing. Again, here I am waiting. Waiting waiting. That's all I do. And it's hard. It's hard to be patient. And it's hard to not be in control.
But God is teaching me.

Ok so it's been like a month...

I haven't blogged in so long! And here's why: I have no time to even breathe these days. Between work, eigtheen units of classes, Concert Choir, Vanguard Singers, Beautyshop, and friends, I am just overloaded! But let's try to recap:

I went to Knott's Scary Farm with my besties. And it was so awesome! I had such a good time laughing at my friends being completely terrified! I wasn't really scared though. And it disappointed me a little. But it didn't stop me from having the best time ever!!!



I have had a few Vanguard Singers concerts and a few Beautyshop gigs as well and both are just unbelievable! I feel so blessed and I am loving every minute of it!

School is going well and I think I might get close to straight a's...Maybe! I am working so hard. I made my schedule for next year.
Abnormal Psychology
Human Sexuality
Research Methods
Literary Perspectives
Christian Worldview
Vanguard Singers
Choir
18 units again.
But I do love keeping busy.

I might get another job to pay for New York... Graveyard shift. If I get that job I pray that I won't die from lack of sleep... But I do have to pay for New York somehow.

And we have a new President. President Obama. Weird... Not what I would have wanted. But I know that God is in control.

It's almost Christmas. And I'm getting super excited. Starbucks has Christmas cups. And we're rehearsing Christmas music in choir, VSB, and Beautyshop. I feel the season approaching! =] Loving it!

Oh. And... Good story. Today I went to work this morning. I was supposed to leave at 9:30 because I had a recital. But the girl who was supposed to relieve me decided not to show up. Soooo I definitely missed my recital. Great... And she didn't show up tonight either so I had to cover her shift again. Wow. She should get fired. But at least I'm getting extra hours I guess. I just hope that I don't get penalized for missing recital... Since it wasn't my fault and I was stranded with nothing to do...

Office Party tonight. Fun times. And Starbucks study party. Also fun times.

Well, that's all for now. I really will try to blog more often.