Dang it.

I was rereading my old blogs. I was so much more witty then.

SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPEN SO I CAN BLOG ABOUT IT!

I worked out today with my trainer. Woot.

Also I cooked a very healthy, very yummy dinner.

Here is the recipe:

Chicken/veggie soup

Boil chicken for about an hour.

Pour in can of chicken broth.

Chop up veggies (I used carrots, celery, and brocolli) and put in pot.

Let cook for like 20 minutes.

The end. Sooooo yummy, and only about 300 calories :)

Unstoppable!

That is how I am feeling today... unstoppable! Currently all I do is work. And I have realized that my blogs now compared to my blogs 2 years ago are extremely boring. And that is because nothing exciting happens anymore. I graduated college and I am in this awkward stage where I am not in school but not yet pursuing a career. And I don't have a boyfriend so I can't decide where to focus my energy! Until I decided this week that I am going to focus all of my energy and thoughts on becoming a stronger, healthier me! Until I reach my final goal of losing 70 pounds, that is going to be my main focus. Maybe I will turn this into a fitness blog. I mean, that is helpful to people... Yep, it's decided. I am going to blog about my feelings, success, failures, workouts, and meals. And maybe I can inspire someone who has struggled with the same things that I have struggled with.

So let's see... I have been with my personal trainer since August 11. And since then I have lost 17 pounds. I was losing pretty quickly until the last couple weeks. I have hit a plateau. I sometimes just have these days where I can't focus on anything except food and I all of a sudden just eat everything in the house. And then I feel awful and run to the scale and see that I gained like 2 pounds and then I freak out and get so upset and then I eat more because I am upset. But my goal is to stop doing that! So today I had a burst of motivation and I am ready to push past this plateau and keep losing this weight!

So here was my day today: Work 8 hours. Eat 1500 calories. Run 2.5 miles- burn 250 calories.

Good day.

So here we are October 14. 17 pounds down. 53 to go. Let's do this! :)

Grown up.

I just wanna be a kid again. Merr... So I was all content and livin life until yesterday. I love my life. I am so happy. But I can't help but wonder if this is where I am supposed to be [or not???]. I went home yesterday for my sister's birthday. It was so much fun! I miss my family alot. And when I told my little brother that I had to leave so I can work tomorrow, he said "why can't you just get a job here?" And then cried and asked me not to leave. And then I was a crying mess. And that got me thinking, why CAN'T I get a job at home where I am close to my family? All of a sudden I just feel like that is where I am supposed to be. And I can get an apartment with my bff sister and start a new life, maybe find a new love, and get a real job instead of 50 nanny jobs. Something to think [and pray] about. But now the question arises: should I still start school in the Spring if I am going to move back home in the summer? What to do...

Two years later.

Well, I am back! It has been two years. I have graduated from college and I am living a brand new crazy life now. I work at 24 Hour Fitness and I am a nanny. I work about 10-14 hours a day. Currently I am trying to find what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I graduated with my BA in Psychology but now, I think I will go into teaching. So nowadays I am just workin and figuring out my place in this grown up world. Oh and lots of working out. My goal is to lose 70 pounds in one year. So far I have lost 15! Only 55 to go... Haha. Well, I am off to watch my sappy chick flick and lie around in my pjs. That's my Friday night.

Continued...

So where did I leave off?


Wicked! So my friend Chelsea got tickets to Wicked and invited me to go with her... So sweet. =] And then I got there and we ended up having THIRD row seats! Omg. It was the most a mazing thing ever! I could actually see all of their facial expressions... And it was just amazing. Eden Espinosa and Megan Hilty... So amazing. They give me chills. One day I want to be that person who sings and makes everyone cry. ...We got to meet them afterward and it was awesome!!!!! Yay! And then I got home at 2 in the morning Woot. Haha. My GPS helped me to get to the Pantages Theatre that day so I decided to name her Galinda... like from Wicked. Haha... So the next morning I had an 8:30 am concert! Needless to say I was exhausted with no voice. However, Doc surprised me by telling me that Beautyshop was singing at the concert! So I was pretty nervous considering I barely had a voice and had to belt out "Let it Snow" in front of all of Vanguard! But it went well... Friday another Fantasia concert. Saturday: Concert at Saint Andrews. Making up harmonies to Christmas carols that I didn't know all the words to... It was interesting. It was quite an impromptu arrangement. Sunday: Beautyshop gig in the mall. FAVORITE! It was SO much fun. We just sang Christmas songs around the mall and so many people stopped to watch us. A whole bunch of people from work came to hear me sing and it was so sweet of them. =] Monday: VSB concert in Barstow. Definitely one of my favorites. We had a beautiful dinner and I made some friends with the youth group kids! So much fun! Finals week: Eh. It was ok. I was disappointed in myself for not getting straight a's. I ended up having to babysit and not getting a chance to study for my Biological Psychology final. But I still got a B+ on it. And I think that's pretty good. My Stats final was pretty bad. I thought I did really well but I didn't. =[ And I got an a on my Social Psych final! Woot. I think I'll end up with 2 b's and 5 a's... Maybe? I hope... Saturday" LAST concert! It was just ok. Although the dressing room was unlike anything I've ever seen. There were dispensers with gummy bears and cashews and trail mix and cheetos and licorishe. It was amazing.

Somewhere in all that craziness I also got a MACBOOK. And it is amazing and much needed. I'm glad to finally have a computer that doesn't shut off every ten seconds that I can listen to music on and watch dvds on. It is great.

Other than that, my ear is plugged. Which makes me very irritated.

I am living out of my car. Which also makes me SUPER irritated because I don't have a place to leave my stuff and I have to go from house to house with all my belongings in my car... I'm trying not to be upset about it. But I can't help it.

And now I am going to watch the Holiday and try not to think about it.

5 SEMESTERS DOWN. THREE TO GO.

Welp. That's it. I'm done with the semester. Just three more to go until I graduate... from college. WHAT? That's the the craziest thing in the world. 

So since I haven't written in SO long, I'm going to try to remember all the way back to when I first felt the urge to blog but didn't have time. I believe that was Thanksgiving weekend. So Thanksgiving was blissful. I went home for the second time this whole semester. I missed home alot. And being home was amazing. Relaxing and familiar and beautiful. Thanksgiving dinner was great. Although ever since that day I haven't been able to stick to my diet... Boo. 

So Thanksgiving night Britt, Isaiah and I decided to wait in line over night at Kohls to get some super good super cheap Christmas presents. We were second in line. It was so much fun. It was about 40 degrees and I think I almost got frostbite on my toes. But nonetheless it was quite an experience. I made some crazy friends and spent eight hours of my life with them, only to never see them again. But hey, it was fun while it lasted.

So when the doors were finally opened, we rushed in looking for the present we had come to get. The employees ended up telling us the wrong information. I didn't get the present. I was so upset. But I did get a nifty little GPS system for myself that was 200 dollars off! Haha. Then we went to another store to look for the present. We ended up finding it. So really we had waited in line for eight hours in the freezing cold for nothing because all along it was at another store anyways. Stupid. Oh well. At least it was fun.

FANTASIA

So I came back from Thanksgiving weekend right into Fantasia rehearsals. Dress rehearsal on Monday night. Concert Tuesday. Concert Thursday. Concert Friday. Fantasia was completely amazing. On Tuesday night it was held at the majestic Segerstrom Hall. 

I can't even explain how legit it felt to sing there. It was magical! And I cried a little. Haha. And it was full! It was sold out. Picture this full of people with lights and music and magic! You would cry too... 

And Beautyshop/Barbershop got our own dressing room. Woot.

It was just amazing, and I had so much fun. I got to sing in three ensembles this year. Concert Choir, Vanguard Singers, and Beautyshop. I was quite a busy little beaver. But that's how I like it. ;)

Well friends, I must end on that note, for I recieved three hours of sleep last night and I must be off to bed. But there is more to come... I still have to talk about Wicked, singing in the mall, Macayela, and finals week! Hopefully I can blog more tomorrow since I have NOTHING to do because I am FINISHED with the semester!

Praise Jesus for that.

Bye for now.

Coming soon...

My life = CRAZY. I will blog soon. I promise. Probably tomorrow or Tuesday. =]

Too much going on. Nothing to say.

I feel like so much is going on. But I don't have the patience to sit here and write about it anymore. =[ It's sad. But I'll try anyways.

Well... weird things are happening. But I can't dwell on them. Cuz then I'll just be sad.

Also, good things are happening. It's almost Thanksgiving. And I am so excited that I want to scream. I have only been home once this entire semester and I can't even wait to go home and get to stay there for four whole days! A four day vacation. No work, no school. BUT then as soon as I come back, I have Fantasia rehearsal Monday. Exam and Fantasia Tuesday. Exam and Fantasia Chapel Wednesday. Exam Thursday. Two exams and Fantasia Friday. Concert Saturday. Concert Sunday. Can you say WEEK OF DEATH? But after that, the semester is over!

Woah... Another semester down. Three more to go until I GRADUATE from college. WHAT?
That's so intense.

Well. Beautyshop rehearsal tonight. Then group project. Then write a paper. Bye for now!

Time to DeStress

So today, in order to relieve some stress and just get out of my room and think, I went to Barnes and Noble. Got a green tea. And I found a book that caught my attention. Call me gross but this would catch your attention too if you saw it.

And can I just say, this book totally made my day. I mean, you can be crying your eyes out, but at the end of the day, poop is always funny. And an entire book written about poop... Come on. That's hilarious. And you know what. I read the whole thing. And I felt so much better. I couldn't help but just laugh. And I needed a good laugh....

DeStresser #2. When I'm bummed out or going through a rough or changing time in my life, I dye my hair. So that's what I'm doin. Next time you see me I'll be a dark brunette!

Is it that time again?

So I know that God lets us experience times of blessing and times of brokenness. But come on. The blessings are over already? It was too short... Not saying I'm not blessed. But the brokenness is back. And I wasn't ready for it to come back yet.

Today I'm feeling kind of hopeless and I have nothing left to give. Nothing left to do. I am at a loss. And it's times like these when I just have to focus every moment on God and realize that He has a plan. He knows what is going to come of this and all I have to do is wait for His master plan to fan out. Yes, it sucks at the moment. But I know that things will be okay in the end.

I heard once that God puts people in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. At first I refused to believe it. But it's so true! Sometimes people are in your life just so they can teach you something. You learn your lesson from that person and then they are taken away from you. And it's hard at first, but you move on. And sometimes people are in your life during a certain season when you really need that person. Then similarly, when that season is over, they are taken from you. And then there are those friends that are there forever. And they are a blessing. I have a lot of friends and I don't know which categories they all fall under. I would pray that they are all lifetime friends, but that probably isn't the case. It hurts me so much when someone turns away from me, but if they have done their job in my life then maybe it's time for them to move on to someone else and teach that person something. Or maybe it's time for them to go find someone else to learn something from. All I know is that for the friends who are choosing to stay in my life, I should count them as such a blessing and love them and go on living life and keep pouring myself into them and hoping for the same in return.

I know that things don't always happen as they expect them to. Actually, they almost never do. Life is just constant surprise after another. But I know that in certain situations it doesn't matter who did what or who said what. Because no matter how things turn out, God had planned it to be that way anyway. So why waste time blaming people in the mean time? I have done stupid things and made mistakes. And for that I am sorry. I can't turn back and change it so all I can be is sorry. And people I know have made mistakes as well. But by dwelling on that mistake, you don't allow room for forgiveness. Maybe that friendship is supposed to be over. But maybe it's not. And maybe time is being wasted being mad when time could be used to forgive and patch things up.

All I can do is trust in Jesus. Because He knows. I don't know. But He does. And He will make everything okay.

Lesson.

So this year God is teaching me many things. But one thing that seems to be the most prevalent deals with my control issues. I don't think I always act upon it, but in my head I am a very controlling person. When we do group projects in school, I just want to do the whole thing because I can't trust others to do a good job. I know, it sounds horrible. But that's how I feel about life too. I just want to do everything my way because I feel like I can make it better than anyone else can. But I'm wrong! And I have to stop trying to control my life, and certain outcomes. Because God is in control.

Every situation that I have been dealing with lately has to do with things being out of my control. And I realize that God is teaching me through these tests.

There is a certain person in my life who is hurting so much right now. And I am trying to control it. I want so so badly for things to be better and I want to do what I can do manipulate the situation to make her feel better so that everything will be ok. But you know what. Maybe it's not up to me. God is in control of this situation. And no matter what I do, or what I have done, things will get better when God is ready to make them better. And He will. But it is all in His timing. Again, here I am waiting. Waiting waiting. That's all I do. And it's hard. It's hard to be patient. And it's hard to not be in control.
But God is teaching me.

Ok so it's been like a month...

I haven't blogged in so long! And here's why: I have no time to even breathe these days. Between work, eigtheen units of classes, Concert Choir, Vanguard Singers, Beautyshop, and friends, I am just overloaded! But let's try to recap:

I went to Knott's Scary Farm with my besties. And it was so awesome! I had such a good time laughing at my friends being completely terrified! I wasn't really scared though. And it disappointed me a little. But it didn't stop me from having the best time ever!!!



I have had a few Vanguard Singers concerts and a few Beautyshop gigs as well and both are just unbelievable! I feel so blessed and I am loving every minute of it!

School is going well and I think I might get close to straight a's...Maybe! I am working so hard. I made my schedule for next year.
Abnormal Psychology
Human Sexuality
Research Methods
Literary Perspectives
Christian Worldview
Vanguard Singers
Choir
18 units again.
But I do love keeping busy.

I might get another job to pay for New York... Graveyard shift. If I get that job I pray that I won't die from lack of sleep... But I do have to pay for New York somehow.

And we have a new President. President Obama. Weird... Not what I would have wanted. But I know that God is in control.

It's almost Christmas. And I'm getting super excited. Starbucks has Christmas cups. And we're rehearsing Christmas music in choir, VSB, and Beautyshop. I feel the season approaching! =] Loving it!

Oh. And... Good story. Today I went to work this morning. I was supposed to leave at 9:30 because I had a recital. But the girl who was supposed to relieve me decided not to show up. Soooo I definitely missed my recital. Great... And she didn't show up tonight either so I had to cover her shift again. Wow. She should get fired. But at least I'm getting extra hours I guess. I just hope that I don't get penalized for missing recital... Since it wasn't my fault and I was stranded with nothing to do...

Office Party tonight. Fun times. And Starbucks study party. Also fun times.

Well, that's all for now. I really will try to blog more often.

Today.

Today... was weird. And different. And the same. And complicated. And emotional. And frustrating. And good. And bad. And tiring.

I thought I was letting God do the work, and here I am trying to take the reigns again. I'm tired of being disappointed. And letting people rob me of my joy. I'm sick of letting things get to me. And relying on certain people to make me happy. Shouldn't God alone be sufficient? Yes, He should. And that is why I am imperfect.

I wish I wouldn't let people take advantage of me, and play with my mind. But I can't help it. I'm a pushover. And I allow people to steal my joy.

Well it's time to stop. And be strong. And have joy in the fact that I am a child of God and I should trust in Him always, for he knows what will come of everything.

Friends. Laguna. Koffee Klatch. Birthdays. Bonfires. Cancelled Bonfires. Movies. Cancelled movies.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. This is the longest week of my life. But it has been quite a fun and eventful one. On Monday Jared and I went to Cha for Tea. The best place ever. It was fun times. and we had Mango Green Tea. Which is amazing and Crispy Chicken and I tasted Tofu for the first time. Which, I have conluded, tastes like air.

And then we decided to go on an adventure. So we called up Dain. And we headed off to Laguna Beach. At like 10 oclock. And we went to this amazing place called Koffe Klatch. And it is so quaint. And adorable. And cozy. And they had bomb diggity chai tea! My favorite. :)

So that was really fun.
And then we walked around Laguna Beach. And on the way, Jared decided to attack me and jump on my back and then overtake my face with his hand, and take a picture. Hahaha. Which resulted in such:

And then we went down to the beach. And it was so stinkin beautiful. Gosh I love Laguna Beach. We just layed in the sand and looked at the stars and sang really bad and said random things. It was quite a beautiful moment. And then we buried our toes and sang Miley Cirus songs... Good times.
Gosh I love my friends. They are wonderful.

So yesterday we wanted to have a birthday party for the Jareds. We were going to have a bonfire so we got everything together and were ready to go at like 9:30 when we realized that the beach closes at 10. Great. So we went to another beach that supposedly did not close at 10. Wrong. It totally did close at 10. And then we went to another beach. But it was too cold. So then we went to Denny's for a surprise party. but then we had to leave. And it was awkward. And then we went back to school and were going to watch a movie. But then noone wanted to watch a movie. So me and Jared and Brooke went to Taco Bell. Of course. And that was the big birthday bash. Taco Bell in the study room. Hahaha. All the result of undecisiveness... which is my middle name.

Quite a blustery day.

Wow. Today is out of control. The wind is blowing like nobody's business. I was almost blown away while walking to class this morning. And my hair is just everywhere. And I hate it. Wind... is evil. And it's annoying me.

Well this day turned out differently than I expected. I thought I was going to the beach and I thought I was having a picnic and I thought I was having Beautyshop rehearsal. And all of those things were cancelled. So I had time to do homework. Which is awesome because I haven't been devoting enough time to homework lately.

So this week, I have a Biological Psychology Exam as well as a Human Development Exam and a Statistics Quiz. Busy busy busy.

P.S. My new phone sucks. It dies like evry two hours and I want to throw it because it makes me so mad.

So this really has no significance, but today I ate in the caf for dinner. As usual. And Kevin, Brooke and I decided to take a picture and Kevin said I should put it on my blog. So I will. Even though there really is nothing exciting about it. It's just the caf. And all we did was eat. And nothing exciting happened. Haha.


And now I am off to go to Cha for Tea with one of my favorite friends. =] Yummm. I love love love Cha.

Greetings from Apple Valley.

Recap: This whole week I have been so stressed because I had my very first Beautyshop gig on Friday. I was so anxious about it that I was even super grumpy on Thursday because I couldn't handle the anxiety. But ya know, after all that worry, I realized I didn't need to be worrying. It was the most fun thing ever! We got to serenade people and have so much fun and be all cheesy and just do what we love to do! Sing! I had so much fun and I continue to thank God for these opportunities and blessings!


Well I got the day off today and I took the opportunity to go home because I haven't been home once this entire semester! I came home last night after work. I left Costa Mesa and it was about 70 degrees. The sun had been shining all day. I drove home and opened the door and my limbs just about froze off. It was FREEZING! And I loved it. I love the cold so much. And it smelled like fire. And it felt like Christmas. I was greeted with huge hugs and screams by my little brother and sister. I got some laundry done and visited with my fam. And then I went to my friend Kim's house. It was so refreshing to talk to her. I love seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time. And, another friendship of mine was rekindled, via text messaging. Haha.

I was awaken this morning by the smell of bacon, eggs, and french toast. My dad made us all breakfast and then we went to my little sister's softball game. I got to see my Oma and Poppy and Grandpa! But, to my dismay, I realized that I forgotten to bring pants! So i just had no idea what to wear to the game. So i just had to wear sweats. And look ghetto out in public. Well, Sarah won her game and then I headed to AT&T to get a new phone plan but the phones were all a kajillion dollars. So I gave up on that idea. So I just decided to keep Verizon. And my sister got a new plan and I got her old phone. The T Phone! The one I have always wanted!!! Yayyy. And then we went to In and Out. And then we went to Zachary's baseball game. And he won. And then I went to Verizon to activate my new phone. And then we had dinner at Oggi's Pizza with the fam and Oma and Poppy. And it was good times. And we also went shopping. And I got a sweet new sweater.

And now I am off to bed and when I awake, I will be driving back to Costa Mesa for work! This has been a great great weekend!

Thank God for family. =]

One of my least favorite words.

Today I heard a phrase I haven't heard since high school. When used to infer a negative connotation, this phrase just urks me.
...Goody-goody.
I looked it up on urbandictionary.com. And here's what it says:

1. goody goody:

"Someone called this because they won't do stupid and immature crap like the majority of their peers.
If you drink and throw your guts up, you're alright. If you choose not to and have a good night's sleep or even sit up reading a book or having clean fun, you're a goody goody. "

Throughout my life I have made what I would consider to be pretty good choices. I have come up against stupid things but I have held strong and said no. And why is that a bad thing? People say Why don't you just have a little fun? But honestly, I have so much fun every single day. I love my life and it would just be stupid to do things just because if I don't do them, I am a goody-goody. It's like people who have made a few mistakes in their lives create a club and if you haven't made as many mistakes as them, they cast you out and decide that you are a Goody-goody and you can't be in their club because you have made a few good choices. And they could totally get out of that club and be a Goody-goody too. But that is looked so down upon that their pride is telling them that they could never do that and they continue to look at you and judge you and think you are a prude. But all a long, they are wasting time and they could just be in the Goody-goody club if they would just put their preconcieved notions aside. Because Goody-goodies are cool too. And we know how to have fun. But they don't know that. And they're afraid to try.

I just don't understand. Why should I change? I am completely content. I don't just refuse to do those kinds of things because they are "taboo." I just don't want to. I have no desire to.

Basically I am rambling. Because it's just hard to put into words what I am feeling right now. I am sad that I am persecuted by own friends for doing the right things. I am who I am. I am grounded and I will not change for anyone.

And as Christians, isn't our goal in life to do everything to the glory of God? So why would I want to stupid things that I know God does not approve of? Now, I would never judge people who do these kinds of things. If that is what they want to do, then it's their consequences they will have to deal with. But I should not be put down just because I don't want to partake.

Blah. Why can't I just be me?

Been a While.

I used to blog everyday. Twice a day in fact.
But these days I'm just so busy. And when I get a free moment, I don't have the energy to recap my whole day.
But I decided that I have to blog today because I haven't done it in so long.

So ...

Well. Last week I dissected a brain.
It wasn't as bad I had expected.
However, it was still pretty gross.

So here it is... the brain.

Gross huh?

And here it is after I dissected it.

Blehhh.

I've been doing pretty well in school still. =]
But I got 50% on a quiz this week. =[ I forgot there was a quiz that day. Lol
Cuz I have FOUR tests this week! Gross.

And Monday was my first Beautyshop rehearsal! Yesss. It was great. I was so intimidated at first since everyone else is experienced and I was like the newbie. But I had so much fun and while I was singing I was just like flabberghasted. I was like woah. I am in beautyshop. And I am singing with three amazingly talented chicas. It was such a good feeling. =]

And I have been hanging out with a new friend lately. And he is awesome. =]

Oh how I love friends.

And... it's my sister's ninenteenth birthday today! My lil sister is growing up so fast! Hehe. =]
Happy Birthday sis.

Biggest loser.

That's it. I can't take it anymore.
I'm getting skinny.
For real.
Nothing is getting in the way this time.

Parent: n. One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.

So in my Human Development class we learn alot about how the way your parents treat you in the early stages of life have a lot to do with how you turn out. And it scared me a little. I was thinking, what happens to those poor kids whose parents weren't ready to have children and didn't do it right? And now the kids are all messed up and it's not even their fault! And I am taking this class and learning so many valuable things about how to raise children but I'm thinking, most people do not get to take a human development class, so how do they get the information?

And then I started to realize... Sheesh. I sure am lucky. My parents sure knew what they were doing. Well, maybe they weren't sure of what they were doing at first but it just turned out to be right. I mean, I look around me and I see so many troubled people with so many messed up situations, and people doing horrible things and making stupid decisions. And I thought, if my parents hadn't raised me the way they did and provided such good examples to follow and enabled me to have such a strong moral foundation, I could be such a different person by now. But they did such a good job raising me that they shouldn't ever have to worry about stupid decisions I will make because I am grounded and I know what is right and wrong and the values that they have passed on to me are stuck in my mind forever.

I am just so thankful to have grown up in such a strong and secure family and that I can look back and be proud of the person I have become and the things I have accomplished.

Thank God for my parents.

Autumn. Retreat. Get smart.

So there is a time of year that gets me all excited. It is fall. I just love fall. I can't describe it. The yellow and brown colored leaves, the crisp air, the dark nights, the smell of pumpkin and spice... Ooh. It makes excited just thinking about it. I love fall so so much. And I am excited that it is finally that time. =]



Well. I made it safely back from Vanguard Singers Retreat. Although, I almost didn't... Well not really. But I was scared for my life when I climbed the rock wall.



See, I am afraid of heights and I have pretty much zero upper body strength. So it took alot out of me to climb that wall and I was scared out of my mind. But I made it to the top... Barely. When I got to the top, I actually got stuck and someone had to pull me up... Hahaha. But I did make it and then I zip lined down. THAT was fun. But overall it was a great trip. I got closer to some great friends. I think one of my favorite parts was the drive there and back! Driving through the twists and turns of the mountain playing silly games like the rope game and in the land of the deep but not profound. And the jelly belly game. Good times.



And, I was elected Secretary, which I was totally not expecting at all. I was so surprised! It was great. And we learned a lot of music and got to sing with mics and I tried a few solos and it was kind of scary at first but really fun! And the food was really interesting...



And randomly as we were leaving, I saw a car with an Apple Valley High School sticker, which is my high school, and an HDC sticker, which is my church. It was very exciting. And strange. I never met that person...



Overall though. It was a great, awesome, and fun trip.

...Well tonight, Brooke, Kevin, Sean, Savana, and I went to the movies to see Get Smart. Now, I have already seen this movie and so has Brooke but the others hadn't. And it was totally worth two dollars to see it a second time. It is pretty much the greatest movie ever and I laughed my head off even the second time. ...Oh Steve Carrell, how I love you. I had so much fun. I love friends so much!!! And during the previews we saw this ridiculous commercial about the National Guard with Kid Rock. And then there was a huge cardboard cutout of the commercial. So we took a picture with it...of course.



...What a great day.
And now I have a paper to write.
Goodnight world.

Soap on my face and Conditioner in my hair.

So here I am, taking a shower. I shampoo my hair and then rinse. Then I rub in the conditioner and then rub some soap on my face and just as I was about to rinse... Drip Drip Drip... The water turns off. NOOOOOOOO! Seriously? What was I supposed to do? So Brooke and I gathered as many water bottles as we could find.



And I poured them in my hair and my face. ...It was a very interesting experience to say the least. I'm still not sure if I got all the stuff out of my hair.

After I went to my classes, I was surprised to come home and find SATELLITE TV!!! Yayyy! Not to mention, we have t-vo. Woot.



This was quite exciting considering the thirteen channels of static we had last year. But I haven't even had time to watch it yet because I went straight from school to work to Godspell. I only saw the second half of Godspell since I had to work until nine. However, the second half was awesome! And I definitely cried. It was really powerful.
On another note, I am so excited because Vanguards Retreat is tomorrow!!!! YAYYYYY.

So it may be a few days before another update.

P.S. I give up on crushes.

School.

School...is awesome. I love it so much. First of all, everyday I am just speechless at how I am blessed with so many great friends. And then there is the learning part! When I was younger I was really smart. And as I grew up, I got less smart. Or less motiviated... or something. And then college came. And I was a music major. And it was pretty much the hardest thing of life. It seemed like everyone was always better than me and I was fighting just to be average. Now, don't get me wrong. That is totally NOT why I changed my major. I love a challenge. So that is so not the reason. But being a Psych major is so refreshing. See, in music, I would practice and practice and still not do very well. But in Psych, I study really hard, and it pays off. ...I had a test today. In Bio Psych. And I studied really hard. And I think I did well. My work actually paid off. And then in Stats, I didn't even know that there was a quiz. So I obviously didn't study. But I still got a ninety. I am actually retaining information... And I know a lot of big psychology words. Haha. I LOVE LEARNING!
I feel smart again. And I like it. =]

My goal this semester: Straight a's!

Office Party.

So Brooke went home this weekend. I survived and actually met some really cool people and discovered the glory of Newport church, this awesome cute little church right off the beach on the water. It was awesome. As well as Yougurtland... Mmmm... Well anyway, when Brooke got back to Vanguard she revealed to me that while she was at home, she picked up a little something....




Ta feakin Da!

THE OFFICE SEASON FOUR!!!! YESSSSS.....

So I am taking this opportunity to invite you readers to our weekly Office Parties we will be having every week... Well, if you live at or close to Vanguard anyway.

I'm so excited. Hours of laughter on a tiny disk...

Up in the gym just workin on my fitness. He's my witness. Woo.

Oh what a great day I am having today. Perhaps because I have nothing to attend to so I can relax. Or perhaps I am high on endorfins. Either way, I'm feelin good.


Just got back from the gym. At work today, this lady came in to drop off her kid and she was seriously ripped. Muscles everywhere. Now I personally think that's gross when it's that much. However, she had some inspiring words to offer. She said not to put myself in a box. And if I put my mind to it and really want to lose weight, I can. So I got all inspired. Meanwhile, her son and I created this sweet ship out of legos. I learn so much about myself through the way I interact with kids. I am secretly really controlling. Or maybe it's not a secret. But I wanted to make my own ship and make it awesome. But Dante (that's the little boy's name) wanted to do it his way. And I had to tell myself that HE is here to play, and not me. Hahaha. But the ship turned out pretty sweet anyways.





So after work I grabbed a bite to eat. At Vanguard this year they have this new thing where, instead of having 160 meals per semester, they split it into weeks. So I have ten meals a week. And it DOES NOT roll over. Which is so stupid. So I go in the caf to get breakfast and she says "you have run out of meals for this week." And I'm like Are you kidding??? And so she went on to tell me that I can use my "Flex Dollars" for a meal. How many Flex Dollars does it cost to eat in the caf? EIGHT STINKIN DOLLARS! And all I got was some granola and a sandwhich. FOR EIGHT DOLLARS... Seriously. This new food provider... I dunno about them.

So anyway, after I ate, I came right back to the gym to work out. And let me tell you. I was so motivated today. I did an hour and a half of cardio.




Here's how many calories I burned from just thirty minutes. So multiply that by three, plus I did weights for half an hour and swam for half an hour! I was just totally motivated. And I hope it stays that way. Plus I brought Eclipse and got some valuable reading time in. Woot. And it's getting so good. And working out is so much easier when you have a good book with you.

Well I was feeling great and I decided to go swimming so I hopped into the pool. Keep in mind I am not by any means a good swimmer. I am possibly the slowest swimmer one has ever seen. But I do quite enjoy it and it's a great work out. So here I am, nonchalantly gliding across the pool in my lane and two guys show up, taking the remaining two lanes. I look over and they're both speeding past me. So I try to go as fast as I could. But it was no use. By the time they had reached the end of the pool and back, I had only gone half way to the first side of the pool. And I'm like are you kidding? It was like Michael Phelps status. One guy even did the flip thingy as he reached the end. And here I am wildly and sporatically kicking my feet and wailing my arms just to get to one side, at which I have to stop and catch my breath. I wish I was a better swimmer. I really do. It was still good though and when I got out of the pool, I could barely walk.
So I had a great workout today. I hope this continues. Although, I can barely move right now so I can only imagine what I will feel like tomorrow. Even just lifting my hands to type is almost more than I can stand.

And may I just say. It took over an hour to type this. Because my computer froze literally every five seconds. Oh how I wish I were exaggerating.

I can't wait until I can afford a MacBook.

Pandas. Rolling Backpacks. Little Miss Sunshine.

So today as I was walking to class, (I was late again by the way) I saw a person with a rolling backpack.



And I thought to myself, ...Hmmm... I didn't even know that people still used those. And then I thought back to when I was little and I wanted one so badly. And sadly I never got one... Well I was surprised to see someone who has one nowadays. Not saying it's a bad thing. I was just surprised.

And currently I am spending my leisurely time in Kevin's room with him and Jared. Tina was here too but she left. We watched Little Miss Sunshine. Which is an awesomely awesome movie. And then... I stumbled across one of Kevin's many random contraptions. The panda. Now this panda is not just an ordinary stuffed panda. It moves. And when Kevin pressed that button, he came alive. Well actually he barely moved because the carpet made it difficult for the panda's paws to manoeuver across the floor. Even still, I very much enjoyed this panda. I captured him in the action:


In conclusion. I love friends. And movies. And moving stuffed pandas.

Randomness.

Hello world. I am back. I didn't blog for a whole day. Woah. Yesterday and today were super busy.

So let's talk about how yesterday I woke up at 8:40. Yes. I have an 8 oclock class. And yes. I had a test. So I got up and ran to class. Lookin like I just woke up. Got there at 8:45. Class ends at 8:50. Had 5 minutes to do the test. I whipped it out like nobody's business.

Social Psych. Choir. Target. Got an outfit and some essentials. Got home at 3:50. Class at 4. Realized my work uniform was still wet. Hung it out to dry.



Ghetto. I know.

Went to work. Survived the crazy kids. Went to worship night. Yay Jesus.

TODAY. Vanguards. I can't describe it. I seriously am so uplifted everytime I go to that class. Amazing people. Amazing songs. Amazing fellowship. Gah! Amazing. Then class. And then after class Brooke, Jessica, and I decided how great it is to sit out on the grass. So relaxing. So nice to see friendly faces passing by. And then we saw Bri! With chips in her mouth. Doing her hair.



And then we went to class. And then I went to work. And now... Office/Taco Bell party with the amigos. Yessss....

I blog too much.

Seriously I blog like twice a day. Haha. Well today was long and eventful.
Let's see... VSB rehearsal: OMG So fun! And a little intimidating. But I was surprised by my own outgoingness... =]



(This is Mia and I in VSB rehearsal. I'm really excited. Why do we both look so strange in this pic?)

And then a quick bite to eat. And I mean bite. I took like one bite and then had to leave. I literally have 5 minutes between VSB and my next class.
Well at 4:15 after all my classes were done, Brooke and I headed to Huntington Beach to get my haircut. I had a fabulous talk with my hair dresser, Alli, who is the best. And then we headed off to Mia's apartment where I did laundry and we had a nice little dinner and watched Mona Lisa Smile... So good. I loved that movie. And the dryer broke, and my clothes are still wet to this very minute.

Then....

We headed back to Vanguard and went to the painting party on our floor. Sooooo I love to paint. I'm not what you would call a Picasso. However, I enjoy it alot.

Here is what I created. It's the tree of peace... or something. ...Our theme is peace train. I kinda like my little creation. =]



And here are some girls on my floor painting the big mural... I helped a little, but I took a time out to capture the beauty of it.



Oh how I love art. That's my new hobby. Brooke and I decided we're going to have paint night once a month... Woot.


OH but then at 10:30 I realized that I need to start my paper, which was due by midnight. Whew. It was a close one. I got it finished and submitted by about 11:45. I am the queen of procrastinating. And that's another goal for this year. I have to stop that.
And I will...tomorrow.

VSB TODAY! And my concert schedule for those of you who would like to come:

So today is the first day of Vanguard Singers and Band (VSB) rehearsal. 30 minutes and counting down... Sooooo excited!

So for those of you who would like to come to my concerts this semester, here is my schedule:

Concert Choir:
-Saturday September 27 at 10:30am in Costa Mesa, Ca
-Saturday November 1 TBD at Biola University...it's a festival. I dunno if people can watch...
-Sunday November 16 at 8:30 and 10:15am in Newport Beach, Ca

Vanguard Singers and Band:
-Sunday October 26 at 6pm in Reedley, Ca
-Wednesday October 29 at 10am at Vanguard University
-Sunday November 2 at 6pm in Whittier, Ca
-Sunday November 23 at 8:45 and 10:15 am in Irvine, Ca
-Sunday November 23 at 6pm in Riverside, Ca
-Saturday December 6 at 11:30 am in Newport Beach, Ca
-Monday December 8 at 6:30pm...Location???
-Saturday December 13 at 8:30pm in Indian Wells, Ca

Beautyshop:
-Sunday December 7 at 2:00pm in Costa Mesa, Ca
Beautyshop will also be performing at Vanguard Singers concerts... and the rest is TBD

CHRISTMAS FANTASIA (All groups will be performing)
-Tuesday December 2 at 7:30pm in Costa Mesa, Ca AT OCPAC!!!!!!
-Wednesday December 3 at 10am at Vanguard University
-Friday December 5 at 8pm in Newport, Ca

Poor.

This is how much gas I got today...
Because this is how much I could afford.
Oh dear. That is sad.
And it was quite embarassing to say "$1.50 on 9"



But payday is tomorrow.
Praise Jesus.

Sourpatch. Starbucks. Just friends. Sadness. Happiness.

So first off, I'd like to point out the fact that Sour Patch Watermelon candy and Starbucks mochas are the best. Seriously. Best thing ever in life...

How the sweet and sour mix together to provide such satisfaction. And the creamy blend of coffee and milk that makes your tastebuds go yummmm.

I am currently experiencing these sensations and I am content. Ah.

Secondly. I have come to the sad conclusion that I think guys look at me as just a friend. Now I suppose I may be wrong and maybe I'm just oblivious. But I see the way guys treat certain girls and then I see the way they treat me and it seems just a liiiitle different. And I'm not really sure what to do about that. I mean, I am me. And I will always be me. So how do I get a guy to like me for me. And not just want to be my friend? Hmmm. That is the eternal quest for us plain girls I guess. The beautiful girls have it easy...


And thirdly. I am sad. Not for myself. But for someone else. I don't think it's fair for someone so amazing to have to go through such a hard time. And it hurts me to see this person cry all the time. I wish she would cheer up but I know what it's like. And I know it takes a lot of time. It reminds me of me this past summer. And I hope she doesn't hurt as badly as I did. And I hope she heals quickly. And I hope she leans wholly on God and that He will mend her heart soon.

On a lighter note... It still feels surreal. It's like I'm living someone else's life. Someone who is accomplished and worthy. I can't stop smiling. And I hope people don't confuse it for conceitedness. I'm just happy. Really, really, really happy.

Whaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttt.

So...today. Coming home from the gym. Mood:nonchalant. I get a phone call. Josh Robison... Hmm. Why is Josh calling me? I answer. He says The list is up. Oh..... Um what does it say? You made it!!!!!!

....
....
....
....

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!




I go to check it.




So remember in my other blog when I said my name has never looked so beautiful in all twenty years of my life.


I lied.


NOW it hasn't ever looked so beautiful.


Woah. I made it. Vanguard Singers. My dream. It's surreal. Seriously.
But wait... There was another list...



Hold up. Rewind. WHATTTTTTT.
Vanguards AND Beautyshop. Oh...my...gosh... My life is changing in front of my eyes. For the better. God continues to bring things in my life that I can't explain. He is so good. And wonderful. And marvelous. And I thank Him for everything in my life. Because without Him, none of this would be possible.

And now I know why I didn't make it last year. My heart wasn't ready. I have learned so much this summer. I have grown so much stronger and I have a testimony to share. And now I will have a way of sharing it.


Ohhhhh man. I am so excited for all of these new opportunities!
Life....is good.

Nope... Life is AMAZING.

Flashback!

So a couple days ago, my roommate Brooke had her itunes on shuffle. And suddenly, I heard a song that made my heart do a little flutter. You know that feeling when you recognize a song, and you know you love it and it just gives you this feeling inside you can't explain. Someone once called it a "heart cry." Well I dunno if anyone else ever experiences that. But I sure do.

So I feel this heart cry. ...It's a good cry by the way... and I realize, it is dc Talk. And I remembered what an effect they had on me when I was younger. They were like my first Christian band, my first concert, my first favorite band... And so today I put Brooke's itunes on just dc Talk and just sat and listened and with each song came a memory. I was listening to "I Wish We'd All Been Ready" and it brought me back to when I was in middle school and I did a book report on the book Left Behind and we had to make a soundtrack to our book and I put that song on my soundtrack. Cuz, well, it's about being left behind. And I forgot for so many years just how great dc Talk is and how moving their lyrics are and how magical their melodies and harmonies are... Ooh dc Talk, how I love you.


Movie night tonight with the amigos...
...Still no word on Vanguards or Beautyshop.


...Patience...

Lesson learned: Patience.

Here I am. STILL awaiting my fate as they have yet to post the list for Vanguard Singers OR Beauty Shop.

Patience is a virtue.

Realization.

It's ok if we drift apart. I thought I wouldn't be ok without you. But I am. I have a new life now. And I am truly happy.

What...A...Day...

Today was the definition of eventful. So last night I was supposed to study for Bio Psych but I was waaaaaay too exhausted last night to even attempt to read. So I decided I'd wake up at 6am this morning and study before my 8 oclock class... Hahaha. Good one. I woke up at 7:45 and ran to class. And it was today, in Intro to Statistics that I realized something scary. ...I...love...math... Seriously. Who knew? My whole life I've been pretending to hate it when secretly it makes me so excited to computate numbers and figure out percentages and patterns... It's official. I'm a weirdo.

So after that class I was going to study because I had a two hour break.
But no.
Instead I went on facebook. Of course.
Then I had Social Psychology at eleven. I went. It was enjoyable, as is normal.
Then an hour for lunch. But I wasn't hungry so I took about twenty minutes to study for my Bio Psych test...quiz...thing.

Then I had choiiiirrrrr. I realized when I pay super close attention and I'm really attentive, choir is the most fun thing ever. So it was a good day.

Then. Meeting with my school pastor. We had a talk about alot of things going on in my life right now. And I have come to the realization that I am kind of smart. Haha. Not to sound conceited. But most of the things he told me were things that I had already thought of, or even executed. So I felt a little disappointed. But at the same time, kind of good. I know that I am doing the right thing... Maybe. Or at least I have the right idea about things.

So then I practiced for a few minutes with my friend Jamie for the Beautyshop audition that was to be held tonight at 8. Except I would have to be AN HOUR late because I had to work. So I practiced. Then ran to class. Took my quiz. Did great! Got a 90. Woot. Very unexpected. School is so good right now. I am learning and keeping attentive and enjoying every minute.

Off to work. I was hoping that all the kids wouild magically leave early so I could leave early so I wouldn't have to be SO late for the audition. Nope. Not a chance. So I run out of work. Speed to school. Arrive at 9:05. An hour late. Out of breath. They have me jump in. So much fun! I am loving this new found courage to audition for everything! I am gaining so many good experiences. I did ok. But everyone else did too. So, once again, not expecting anything. Afterall, only ONE spot is open for this one.

Tonight the list goes up. For Vanguard Singers. AND Beautyshop. I am trying not to be a wreck of nerves. But I am just hoping and praying so hard that this is in God's will. Because I want to be a part of the groups soooo bad! I'll even take just one. But I just don't know. Once again, it's in God's hands. The best place to be. =]

Remember when we had memories.

I saw a video of us yesterday. And it made me miss you. And it made me miss the good times we used to share. But I can't be with you anymore because you're not the person from that video anymore. You're a new person who I don't know. A person who hurts me. And that's why we can't be close anymore. Because it hurts to see how much you've changed.

Princess Brandi? ...Clearly not.

So here we are in line at Disneyland waiting with hudreds of other hopefuls to have our faces examined by strange people we don't know. This is known as the Disney Face Character Auditions. It was quite an interesting experience. I went in with no expectations and no hopes.

We stood in line for about two hours until finally we were brought into a room where we stood in a line and one by one the "judges" walked up to us and examined our faces, looking for the next Disney princess. It was fun... And awkward. But it was strange. There was nothing we could do to prepare. They either like your face or they don't. I can relate it to a beauty pageant. And of course the few girls who made it were super model status...Of course. But it was still fun and a good experience. I think I'll do it again one day. And I saw a kajillion people I knew there. Which was funny... and random.

So...Callbacks. Oh my gosh. So much fun. We all got music, looked over it a couple times and then had to perform it in small groups. I gave it my all and tried my best and I guess that's all I can do. We got to sing solos too and it was so much fun. I had a great time. I just hope they saw my heart. I want this so bad. But again, I'm not getting my hopes up. Everyone was amazing. And there aren't many, if any, spots to be filled. So I'll continue to wait. And hope. And pray. And pray that I will be strong if I don't see my name on that next list... Oh the art of auditioning...

Woah. What? ...Callbacks...

So I auditioned for Vanguard Singers and Band last week. It's like this hard core elite choir. I auditioned last year. Didn't even make call backs. I cried myself to sleep that night. It was horrible. So I prayed so hard that this year, if I didn't make it, that I would be strong. So I hear the call back list goes up tomorrow. So I call my RA and ask her to pray with me that I'll be strong if I don't make it. THEN my friend Danielle comes in. She said CALL BACK LIST IS UP. I thought great, just gimme the bad news. She said you made it. I said WHAT!? I couldn't believe it. So I went down to look myself. And I saw this.



And then I saw this.



My name. It's never looked so beautiful in all the twenty years I've been alive. And then I thought. Brandi. Don't get excited. It's only call backs. And there are no alto spots available. And all the returners are coming back. But then I thought Wait. Maybe I should celebrate. Cuz what if I don't make it? Then this would have been my only chance to celebrate and I missed out. So I dunno. I want to be excited. Cuz I mean, I didn't make call backs last year. So this is farther than I have come before. But I'm really good at getting my hopes up and then getting let down. And I don't want that. I hope my heart can be strong through disappointment. But even more, I hope it doesn't have to be disappointed. I want to be in Vanguards. I want to minister to people and inspire them and share my testimony. I want to share the love of Jesus with others.
Please pick me!!!

I can't hear you. I have sand in my ears.

Well I am annoyed. I just wrote this huge long blog and I accidentally deleted it somehow. So I am going to recap. Because honestly, I'm not about to retell that whole thing. So basically, I saw a spider in my room Saturday night, which caused for absolutely no sleeping. I stayed awake all night because I am deathly afraid of spiders and Iwasn't going to go to sleep until I knew it was dead. I didn't end up killing it until seven am. But I had to work at eight. So I went to work with ZERO hours of sleep. I accidentally fell asleep. Which is not ok because I was taking care of kids. But noone died or anything and I was only asleep for like a minute. Haha. Well after work, my dad and my sister and brother came to visit. So I couldn't take a nap. We went to Dana Point Beach... I think.



So here's the thing. I'm pretty much afraid to go in the water at the beach because I'm lame and I am always afraid a sea animal will eat me or something... lame... But yesterday I worked up the courage to go in. And I did! AND I boogie boarded and it was pretty much the most fun thing ever. And I kept getting caught under the waves and my bathing suit kept coming off... Hahaha. And then my sister, brother, dad and I had a riveting game of throw the frisbee in the waves and whoever gets it gets a point. Well we played to ten and I had nine. And Sarah had like five. I was totally about to win. And then my dad said whoever gets the next one wins. And Sarah randomly found it. And I was so bummed. Cuz I totally should have won. I'm secretly really competitive,.. It was still fun. And when we got back to the dorm we had pizza. And then they left. And I crashed. At 8 oclock! And I slept for TWELVE hours! Wow. It was nice. And then it was back to work again this morning... And now time to hang out with my best friends!

I seriously love my life. =]

Clueless.

So I got all excited about having a blog. But then I realized that I dunno how to do it. ...Other people have like sweet blogs. And mine is plain. And I don't know how to change that. So I suppose I'll have to ask around. And if you are reading this and you know how to make a snazzy looking blog, then please contact me immediately. ...Well maybe not immediately because it's pretty late. But perhaps first thing in the morning.


Well I thought of something to say. ...I survived the first week of school. And that is worth commemorating. I am all settled in my knew major. And I completely love it. So here's my life in a nutshell.

Monday. 8 oclock class. Gross. Have class til 5:15. Those classes consist of Statistics, Social Psychology, Choir, and Biological Psychology. Phew. What a work load.

Tuesday. Work from 9-1. Class from 1:30-4:15. Developmental Psych and Cognitive Psych.

Wednesday. See Monday. And then add work from 5:30-9.

Thursday. Work 9-1. Class 1:30-4:15. Work again 5:30-9.

Friday. Class from 8-2:15. Work from 4-8.

Saturday and Sunday: Work from 8-12.

So much to do. So little time.

Oh hey.

My first blog! I'm so excited. And yet. I have nothing to say. I had something to say a few hours ago. But I forgot. So perhaps tomorrow. But now it's off to bed. And up for work in the morning.